Who to Follow

Who to follow…

Samuel told Saul, “The Lord sent me to anoint you as king over His people Israel. Now, listen to the words of the Lord.  This is what the Lord of Hosts says: ‘I witnessed what the Amalekites did to the Israelites when they opposed them along the way as they were coming out of Egypt.  Now go and attack the Amalekites and completely destroy everything they have. Do not spare them. Kill men and women, children and infants, oxen and sheep, camels and donkeys.’”

1 Samuel 15: 1-3
 

Then Saul struck down the Amalekites from Havilah all the way to Shur, which is next to Egypt.  He captured Agag king of Amalek alive, but he completely destroyed all the rest of the people with the sword. ⁹ Saul and the troops spared Agag, and the best of the sheep, cattle, and choice animals, as well as the young rams and the best of everything else. They were not willing to destroy them, but they did destroy all the worthless and unwanted things.

1 Samuel 15: 7-9

Saul was told to Demolish the Amalekites, for no person, no animal to remain.  He went in and somewhat followed his instructions.  He took out everyone but the king and took out nearly every animal, minus the REALLY great “prize” winning animals.  Little did he know, that by not completely following orders he not only would lose his kingship but because of his failure to take them all out he allowed more hatred on the jews to come from Haman (a decent of King Agag in the book of Esther).

This reminds me of ALL the times the Holy Spirit leads me to go speak to a random person, to send an encouraging letter to a friend, to pray over someone, to open scripture.  All of these instructions have a great purpose and great outcome however what if I choose to not follow the instructions?  Whether it be because I do not feel comfortable or I do not see the purpose in it, I sometimes choose to pass off the instructions.  Just like Saul, I use my understanding, my human perspective to do what I think is right at that very moment verses acknowledging where this leading is coming from.  We may not understand why we are being directed a certain way or why we are to do a task but He does, He sees the bigger picture and we are to trust and be His faithful servants.

1 Samuel 15: 22 …”Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifice’s, as in obeying the voice of the Lord?  Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,..

Prayer With Understanding

Matthew 6:7

“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words.”

 

Do you ever get asked to pray for someone and have NO CLUE what to say or have any clue what their needs are?  Last weekend I was able to go downtown to hand out water and bars to the homeless.  Our hope was to be able to pray and share the gospel with them.  As I was going into this experience I had zero expectations.  I ended up meeting three men (two of which I will speak about) that will stay on my heart for hopefully a very long time.

From a distance we saw three older men sitting near a building with their bikes and bags.  We went over to hand them bars and water and the man in the middle said “God Bless You!”  Now that was an open invitation to start talking about Christ!  As we were talking, my heart just started to hurt and I had to put my sun glasses on to hide the tears.  “How do I pray for these men??  How do I even comprehend what they go through?”  I asked the man in the middle how they survive? Where do they sleep, what do they do come summer and so on.  He answered these questions so precise that all I could hear was this mans a leader!  This is the type of man that could be a HUGE help to others on the street by guiding them to the right buildings, shelters, finding clothing / food ect.  I knelt down to pray and I have NO idea what I said but I left asking God to help me understand their needs, and to help me understand how they feel.

The last man we encountered was the entertainer, he spent 15 minutes showing us trick after trick on his rubrics cube.  He told us jokes and just wanted our company!

I left that park filled with joy seeing that even on the streets there’s a piece of community, men that come together to help each other survive, men that come together and make others laugh, forget their troubles, and men that come together to just be still and not feel so alone in this big world.

That evening I went to a party, I was still really touched by their stories and shared my experience with others.  I kept saying, “man I wish I knew how they felt..”   I should know by now, not to say that unless I’m ready to truly understand!

I wanted to leave the party earlier than my ride so I got a ride with someone else that was leaving.  As she drove away from my place, I got to my door and realized my keys were in my other friends car and I do not have the number to the girl who just drove off!  I pulled my phone out and started to make my calls; roommate one – not answering, roommate two – on the other side of town and not coming home, my brother with the spare – sound asleep.  I texted a couple others to get a hold of my roommate but no luck… I felt SO HELPLESS.  I looked at the clock and realized there was no one I could call.. I was all alone.  So, in my high heels and cocktail dress I found a “comfy” spot on my tile staircase and attempted to sleep.  A fly kept buzzing near my ear, footsteps nearby kept me alert.  Now, I wasn’t just helpless and lonely but I was freaked out!!!!  I tried at my phone again.. no answer!

I glanced at the stars and as I started to tell God how I was feeling, He reminded me of my earlier prayer.  He showed me EXACTLY how those men I met feel.  I may have seen them as leaders or entertainers on the street BUT they are afraid, they feel alone and helpless.  It was at that moment, 2:15 am that I got to pray for those men, not a prayer of babble but with a heart of understanding!

I thank GOD for being my teacher, for giving me a heart to understand others and revealing himself more and more each day.  Most of all, I am thankful that I do not have to walk this life alone, that I do not have to be afraid of the unknown, that He, God himself, is walking with me, directing each step.  Psalm 25:5 Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

Dancing With a Mission

As I hiked the Grand Canyon this past weekend, I was asked by a specific person, “are you praying?”  He asked me this question about 35 times (no joke) within the one weekend.  He told me my job was to be the prayer warrior for the trip.  This should have been an honor but I took it the other way, I was annoyed that he pointed me out and then, oh no, he better not make me pray in front of the entire group… so, as he would ask me, I would just laugh his comment off and try to steer clear of him.

2 Chronicles 20:12 …We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

From this verse, and lack of prayer time, I realized I was hiding from hearing what God wanted me to do and thought my decision making was “good” enough.  I was “slacking” on my prayer time, quiet time because I had a feeling He wanted differently.

2 Chronicles 20: 5-12

And Jehoshaphat stood in the assembly of Judah and Jerusalem, in the house of the Lord, before the new court, and said, “O Lord, God of our fathers, are you not God in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. In your hand are power and might, so that none is able to withstand you.  Did you not, our God, drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel, and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend?  And they have lived in it and have built for you in it a sanctuary for your name, saying, ‘If disaster comes upon us, the sword, judgment, or pestilence, or famine, we will stand before this house and before you—for your name is in this house—and cry out to you in our affliction, and you will hear and save.’  And now behold, the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir, whom you would not let Israel invade when they came from the land of Egypt, and whom they avoided and did not destroy— behold, they reward us by coming to drive us out of your possession, which you have given us to inherit.  O our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

Jehoshaphat  was a 'good' king.  But that doesn't mean he didn't make mistakes!  He made some bad decisions, which led them to face assault from their enemies.

2Chronicles 20:12 O our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

He had allowed his focus to shift from the Lord and that is what got him in trouble in the first place.  In our text verse he tells God, "We're in trouble, and I have no CLUE what to do, but I am looking to You for the answer!  What a great example for us.  What I may see as a sign of weakness in myself when I do not know what to do, I have to remember it’s just the way of life, we all find ourselves without a clue at some point.  However, it’s what we do when we get to this point that shows where our heart is.

"In all thy ways acknowledge him." 

As we look to the Lord for direction, we trust Him and not ourselves!  He will give us the instruction we need to make the right choices.  We don't have to guess at what we should do, we need to trust Him.

So, what did this look like recently in my life?

As I have written before, I have an insecurity that I’m working on; I lean on my actions showing Christ love more than my words because of the fear of it coming out wrong or even worse, becoming speechless!  Even though God knows my heart, my thoughts, my fears, I held back from sharing this with Him in knowing I would have to do something about it! 

A couple nights ago, I was asked what I am most looking forward to on my trip to Zambia, I finally admitted, I am SO scared yet so excited to see God push me out of this little box that I keep myself in.  I am so scared, yet excited to be used in ways I wouldn’t normally allow myself to be used.

A couple hours later, I was swing dancing with a bunch of friends.  A random man came up and asked me to dance.  As I was being twirled around and dipped, he asked me if I was with the church group.  I said, “I am, what church do you go to?!”  He proceeded that he is a Christian but does not go to a church, so the next question that came out was “what do you believe a Christian is?” He didn’t know but said that he tries to be a good person.  From that point, he kept twirling and I kept speaking.  After we finished the dance I realized I just shared with him exactly what I have been telling myself I wont be able to share with others.  I got to tell him how all of us are not perfect, we are all sinners, wrong doers.  But THANKFULLY, God sent His Son, Jesus Christ down on Earth to pay that penalty.  He died on that cross for YOU, for ME!!!  And when He did that, our sins were wiped clean!  Now we have the opportunity to trust and believe in Jesus, to have that personal relationship with Him!

God knows exactly how to get His point across to us, exactly what we need and exactly how to use us… For me, apparently He knows I have to dance through the mission!

Do I Speak...

As I listened to last year’s team speak on their faith and belief strengthening during their trip to Zambia, I prayed immediately for God to give me that same opportunity.  I told Him I want to be out of my comfort zone, I want to know Him deeper and take true delight in Him.  It was amazing how fast He opened that door!  But with that opened door, I started preparing for this trip, and I found myself imbedded by spiritual attacks.

I decided to start pressing deeper into what the trip entails, and in doing so, I realized I am going to have to speak probably more than once, twice, three times.  That I may have to talk in front of an entire village, I might have to lead people in the salvation prayer, and I might even have to call out demons in Jesus’s name.  THIS FREAKED ME OUT…  I DO NOT have the knowledge, I do not know all scripture, I do not know where to turn in the Bible for specific answers, I am going to be useless and why am I even going??!! ??   Like I said, I was freaking out!

Shortly after all these thoughts were coming to mind I was asked to help lead the trip.  I said yes and allowed myself to dwell on the idea that my gifts and ability of organization and administrational skills was my “part” in this trip.  I figured this would be perfect, we are all built differently, given different strengths, and I am using mine for this group so the others that are great at preaching can take that role.  I found comfort and ease in taking that back seat.  However, if I am doing what I am comfortable with; confident in, then how do I think my faith, belief, and comfort IN Christ will be strengthened?  In what way am I dying to myself and allowing Him to take control?

I went to Exodus 4

1 Then Moses answered, “But behold, they will not believe me or listen to my voice, for they will say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you…

10 But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” 11 Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” 13 But he said, “Oh, my Lord, please send someone else.” 14 Then the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses and he said, “Is there not Aaron, your brother, the Levite? I know that he can speak well. Behold, he is coming out to meet you, and when he sees you, he will be glad in his heart. 15 You shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth, and I will be with your mouth and with his mouth and will teach you both what to do. 16 He shall speak for you to the people, and he shall be your mouth, and you shall be as God to him.

As I meditated on this chapter I realized if God has a plan to save certain people in Zambia, He will, whether He uses ME or someone else on the team.  But, do I want to be used by God for His Glory – yes.  Do I want to be pushed so that all I can do is lean on my Faith in Him – yes.  For me, that means, I will not make Him send someone else to do the work that He has blessed me with, I will not turn down the opportunity HE has blessed me with to share the gospel with those who have never heard it before and I will not back down from the experience and joy of building His kingdom.

He is my strength, my shield, my everything and I LOVE Him with my whole heart, soul and mind.  I am NO where near perfect and will never be.  I am nowhere near knowing Him completely and I am nowhere near comprehending the pain and sacrifice He made for me on that cross BUT I will joyfully go and I will joyfully speak!

Dear Father, I thank you for continually teaching me of your desire to strengthen me in You, for your love and Your confidence in the women I could be for You and Your Kingdom.  Father, I ask for boldness.  You know my heart, my fears, failures, what makes me timid and uneasy to share.  Break down those walls, build me in these next couple months to lean fully on you, your love, Your Truth.  Help me to be still before you, to wait upon you.  Help me to be whatever you need me to be in order to reach the lost.  I LOVE you full heartily and am forever yours!

Amen!