Should I stay or should I go?

Hi! My names Teresa and I’m an impulsive decision makerJ

As of Monday evening I had my plan to solve my frustration and discomfort from my lack of direction.  I decided, I LOVE serving and I LOVE travel… why wouldn’t I do oversea missions?  So I applied, interviewed and under 48 hours thought *I* solved my problem.  But then it hit me, a funny thing called waiting upon God!  I did not even bring this thought, plan before Him.  I did not even allow this thought to settle before acting on it  

In my head, my intentions were pure- I felt this adventure would allow me to grow in ways that I wouldn’t grow in the states and thought that it would be an opportunity that I would not be able to take later on.  By Wednesday this week I realized I was in the exact place just about 9 months ago.   So if I had this desire to go then, and decided not to…me having this desire again..  What does this mean???

Should I stay or should I go…

An old hit from The Clash basically sums up my thought process!  I kept praying but feeling as I wasn’t hearing from God.  Why wouldn’t I be hearing from Him?  I’m reading His word, praying to him, serving and loving others.. Why am I in this spiritual restlessness, especial in such a crucial time?

When wondering why I am not hearing Him, I told to read Esther. 

Esther 6: 1-10

6 That night the king could not sleep; so he ordered the book of the chronicles, the record of his reign, to be brought in and read to him. ² It was found recorded there that Mordecai had exposed Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king’s officers who guarded the doorway, who had conspired to assassinate King Xerxes.

³ “What honor and recognition has Mordecai received for this?” the king asked.

“Nothing has been done for him,” his attendants answered.

⁴ The king said, “Who is in the court?” Now Haman had just entered the outer court of the palace to speak to the king about impaling Mordecai on the pole he had set up for him.

⁵ His attendants answered, “Haman is standing in the court.”

“Bring him in,” the king ordered.

⁶ When Haman entered, the king asked him, “What should be done for the man the king delights to honor?”

Now Haman thought to himself, “Who is there that the king would rather honor than me?” ⁷ So he answered the king, “For the man the king delights to honor, ⁸ have them bring a royal robe the king has worn and a horse the king has ridden, one with a royal crest placed on its head. ⁹ Then let the robe and horse be entrusted to one of the king’s most noble princes. Let them robe the man the king delights to honor, and lead him on the horse through the city streets, proclaiming before him, ‘This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor!’”

¹⁰ “Go at once,” the king commanded Haman. “Get the robe and the horse and do just as you have suggested for Mordecai the Jew, who sits at the king’s gate. Do not neglect anything you have recommended.”

Here we see Haman thinking the king was talking about him, so he made up all these wonderful things the king should do for the man he delights in.  He had impure motives and tried to plan the outcome for himself.

This passage made me look deeper into my heart.  Was there any sin that has not been given up to God for forgiveness our any areas that I have not fully given to Him?

God truly amazes me!!  I kid you not, right after that amazing/thankful time of repenting I brought my question to Him again.

Should I stay or should I go?

He brought me to John 5:30, John 6: 27, 35, 38, 46 –

To sum up the passages, I want our heavenly Fathers Will, not my own.  I want to work for eternal life for nothing that will perish.  When coming to the Lord you WILL NOT be hungry, you WILL NOT perish.  ANYONE who believes in me, will have eternal life.

Can I do all of the above while doing missions overseas – YES!

Can I do all of the above while working here in the States – YES!

Therefore, in knowing that either path I take I can still bring glory and honor to His name, He has given me the chance to choose either path.

So you are probably wondering which path I’m taking..

I’m running for President- first women president here I come!!!! Lol  (like I said, I make impulse decisions.. something I’m working onJ)

Missed opportunities

Do you ever look back on your day and count up the opportunities you were given and did not take to share who Christ is?  In the past two days I found myself leaving two situations, asking “how did I not even think to bring up Jesus?” 

One instance was a couple days ago; a lady was asking me for my advice on a dress she wanted to wear to her friend’s daughter’s funeral.  That statement alone, I am sure you could have come up with 50 questions/ comments that would lead you onto a spiritual conversation.  I, on the other hand, heard her question and answered back, “The dress is short, however, because of the conservative top and pattern, I think it would still be appropriate.” – Really??  That’s all I had to say?

Yesterday, I was given another opportunity.  The man that was serving me my hot chocolate (I know what you are thinking, HOT CHOCOLATE IN JUNE.. 105 DEGREES-YOU'RE CRAZY.. yes I am, and yes, it was mighty tastyJ) he asked me where I was from, he mentioned he was at a funeral in Minnesota and that it was a hard time for him and his family.  Now, you think I would have learned my lesson from the previous day... nope...  I reply “Ya, I bet!  Well, did you at least get to ski, or go sledding!?”  He looked down and told me no one was in the right frame of mind to do anything like that.  As he said this, my drink was handed to me, we said our goodbyes and I walked away.  Again,, really??? That’s all I had to say??

So by now, I realized, I lost focus for a moment of my purpose.  So I asked myself, what does it look like for me to be intentional with sharing the gospel?

We are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. 2 Corinthians 5:20 When we accept Jesus Christ into our lives we are given the mission to be His ambassador.  Ambassador defined by dictionary .com says : it is a person who acts as a representative or promoter.  We are to represent Jesus and promote the good news!  (Matthew 10:16). Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we must take the message of our King to the “ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8), imploring men and women everywhere to be reconciled to God.

Wayne Schwab identifies 7 areas we live out Gods mission:  Home / family / friends, work, local community, the wider world, leisure activities/ recreational, spiritual health, our share in our church’s life/ outreach.  In these different areas we are able to create relationships, showing others the beauty of Jesus and inviting others into the beauty of reconciliation with Jesus.

As I focused in on my purpose here on Earth (to share the good news with all) I began in prayer for more opportunities and for the spirit of God to convict those hearts to be aware of God in their life. 

Now it was just about time to board my flight and I remember praying to God to use me, “Father, I want to be intentional with my flight, give me an opportunity.”  As I was picking my spot I looked around and didn’t feel a push to sit anywhere specific.  I noticed I was just about all the way to the back so I quickly took the next seat that was open and looked to my right, I was sitting next to two young girls.  I took my Bible and journal out to prepare for my 3 hour flight.  I planned to get in some reading, and journaling in, however, God had other plans, He answered my prayer… and used meJ.  Within minutes of sitting down, I started drawing pictures and writing in the little girl’s journals (with their permission, of course: ), we started talking about our travels and so on.  They asked me about the book I was reading and I made sure I had a purpose to every question I asked them.  I soon learned they had a Bible and what church they went to.  We started talking about our favorite holidays, why they were our favorite and what the meaning was behind them.  They asked me to read to them from the Bible and then wanted to put Jesus in their journal.  The three of us talked the entire 3 hour flight, building a friendship and care for one another but most importantly sharing Christ with one another!

Gospel intentionality, it’s not just about having the words to say or just the actions to show.  It is about being aware of the message we have been entrusted, living out a life giving great representation to Jesus Christ.  As you step out into your neighborhood, to your favorite restaurant, sports bar, be intentional with those God places in front of you.  Remember our job as a christian- we are His ambassadors!!

Afternoon Hike

Yesterday afternoon all I wanted to do was go for a hike, some would say I am crazy for hiking at 2 pm... and I would agree, it… was..  HOT!!!!!  

As I was hiking up the mountain, feeling like I was going to die from the heat,  I took as many opportunities possible to stop, breathe, and talk myself into keep going.  As people passed me I kept my eyes focused on the top and ignored any “hellos”- “good lucks” “almost there” comments.  I was exhausted and just wanted to get to the top.  I made it and had time to take in the beauty before going down.  As I hiked down, my attitude totally changed.  I was miss smiley, had conversations with others going up/down the mountain, and zoomed down the mountain with no need to stop and appreciate where I was.

Just as if we are going up a mountain, our walk with God can get tough, and at times we may consider giving up.  It is during those times that we should seek for contentment, allow others to encourage and support us.  Think back to the last time you were at a low.  You were feeling a lone, hurt, confused.. did you allow others in?  Did you allow yourself to take your eyes off the end point and take in where you were at, at that very moment?  Try it next time!  Let someone give you an encouraging pep talk, let yourself take in where you are at and learn from it. 

Romans 5: 3 We Rejoice in your suffering because we know that our sufferings produce perseverance, character and hope

As I went down the mountain and gained an entirely different attitude I stopped to think of my attitude when God blesses me.  For instance, little kisses from my nephews, weekly dinners with my family, roommates that encourage and show me love each day.  These are all gifts from God and at times I overlook them.  As you are given special blessings from above do you take it in?  Give Thanks to our creator who gave them to you?  Or do you come to a point were you just start to expect it?

1 Chronicles 16:8 Give praise to the Lord!  Proclaim His name; Make known among the nations what He has done.

So much for just a hike!!  Thanks God for the mini lessonJ

The unforseen trickery

This week I was overwhelmed with the attacks of the tricky Devil.  What amazes me most is that the previous week I was studying on how he is so sneaky, watches our every move, knows our weaknesses, can and will attack.  Even me preparing myself, I still missed him coming and allowed his trickery to overtake my words and actions.

So, here’s my reflection on this previous week, enjoy!!

Ephesians 6: 10-13

Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength.  Put on the full amor of God so that you can stand against the tactics of the devil.  For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens.  This is why you must take up the full amore of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand.

What is the one thing that gives you the most difficulty in life?

Would you narrow it down to people, your job, lack of security?  Paul tells us that the battle is against unseen spiritual powers. People, jobs, bosses are not our enemy, "Be diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bonds of peace."  We use hateful words, critical things, we tear somebody else down to build ourselves up as if we are in some kind of competition with one another. We forget we are on the same team. When we fight - we lose.  We are not to be each other’s enemy.. Our enemy is what controls the people and these negative situations NOT the people.

How to get out from these attacks- Gods word renews our mind.  His truth will help us in how we think, and help us in how we behave.  Which means we are dealing with a Truth struggle, not a power struggle.  So if we are abiding in truth we are standing firm and can resist the lies that are being told by Satan and the world (our flesh). 

Because Gods word (Truth) renews our mind, our actions and thoughts, it is Him who we need to go right to when being faced with our attacks.  I want to make it clear, as much as I wish I could say I do this, I do not do it every time and because of that, my actions are not always loving and my words are not always encouraging.  Bring your struggles, your pain, frustration to the Lord first and foremost.  Allow Him to bring you that needed comfort, that needed encouragement, that needed love and the needed TRUTH!

“He is on the move looking for ways to throw us off balance, to distract us from doing what we need to do so that we can be what God wants us to be.” (Tony Evans) Be on guard for the tricks that will be played and know that we have the choice, the choice to let Satan bring us down with him and play in his game as well as the choice to shut him out with the help of our Heavenly Father.

Am I Listening?

I'm back to blogging.. yay!!!!

So.. I re read my blogs from 10 months ago and to be honest, it upset me.  When rereading my blogs I saw a girl who was so passionately seeking only Christ in her life and for those around her to know and love Him.  She had total faith in her creator and was so content that she had no fret of what her future may look like.  She was in constant aww each day and moment giving complete thanks to her Heavenly Father.
Fast forward 10months, that same gal still LOvES the Lord, still acknowledges Him in every circumstance and still desires to bring glory to Him.  Yet, noticed she allowed herself to spend so much of her year in wonderment.. Spending more than enough prayer, reflection quiet time focusing on the future and not enough on what God has for her right now!
When contemplating my focus I turned to this passage and asked myself... Am I listening?
A Linen Belt
13 This is what the Lord said to me: “Go and buy a linen belt and put it around your waist, but do not let it touch water.” 2 So I bought a belt, as the Lord directed, and put it around my waist.

3 Then the word of the Lord came to me a second time: 4 “Take the belt you bought and are wearing around your waist, and go now to Perath and hide it there in a crevice in the rocks.” 5 So I went and hid it at Perath, as the Lord told me.

6 Many days later the Lord said to me, “Go now to Perath and get the belt I told you to hide there.” 7 So I went to Perath and dug up the belt and took it from the place where I had hidden it, but now it was ruined and completely useless.

8 Then the word of the Lord came to me: 9 “This is what the Lord says: ‘In the same way I will ruin the pride of Judah and the great pride of Jerusalem. 10 These wicked people, who refuse to listen to my words, who follow the stubbornness of their hearts and go after other gods to serve and worship them,  will be like this belt—completely useless! 11 For as a belt is bound around the waist, so I bound all the people of Israel and all the people of Judah to me,’ declares the Lord, ‘to be my people for my renown and praise and honor.  But they have not listened.

God bound Israel and Judah to Him to be His people for His renown and praise and honor. But they didn't listen. They followed their own heart and ran after other gods.
Guess what, how many years later is it and all too often God's people still aren't listening.
God has bound us to himself, to be his people, to bring praise and honor.  He has taken us, sinful, lost, people who deserve His wrath and He has bound us intimately to Himself. 
I think over the past few months I have forget too often, I start going off and thinking that I am my "own," that I have to have total control of my life.  But God has taken me (us) and God has attached me (us) to Him.
God didn't do it so that we could be our own, empowered people or so people could talk about us.  He didn't do it for people to praise us, or to say how wise, more sound than others,  passionate we are.  He did it so that we would be His people, so people would hear about Him. He did it for His praise, He did it for His honor!
My attitude.. our attitudes, should be like those who were rebuked for standing up for Jesus, who do not live for their own glory but for Jesus to be known and praised. 
Looking at the past few months, I've noticed that I have tried to hold onto myself and some ounce of ownership of my life.  Sadly, I do not feel as though I allowed myself to fully listen.   And God says that when His people are like that, He will ruin them and their pride. God will do what it takes to humble us. Even if that means ruining us so that we end up like that soiled ruined loincloth (gross). When we try to be independent, God humbles us.
Jeremiah 13  (9) He will ruin his people – (10)He will make us completely useless, if that's what it takes to get us humble before Him. He would rather us be humble than useful.
Will we listen to His instruction?!
Dear Father, for those of us who are suffering, may it draw us closer to you! May we find great thanks in this time and be in remembrance that we are your children, we are to be worked on for your good.  Discipline seems to bring so much discomfort, and pain, please help remind us that in this time you are building our character, our hope and our perseverance.  You are building us to be strong, loving ambassadors for You!!  I ask for peace and guidance.  Father, please use us for your glory and not for our own.  Please open our heart, our eyes, and ears to what it is that you want for us, that we can be in your Will, in your desires and not in our own.  Thank you Father for binding us to you, allowing us to bring praise and honor to your Great and Holy name.